2014 hasn’t really been my year so far. And, recently I’ve been struggling to find a reason to not think ‘just fuck everyone. I’m done.’  The reason I’m writing this is because I know I’m not the only person who feels like this.

They have been times when I have felt really alone. I’ve cried myself to sleep. I’ve hated myself. I’ve tried to be something I’m not. And, all for nothing. All those things, those feelings, they just made it worse.

I still feel this way. Don’t get me wrong, things are slowly improving. Unfortunately it’s like three steps forward and then two steps backwards. And sometimes that just seems to make things seem even worse.

The only difference is now I know bottling it all up makes it worse. I’m a natural worrier anyway, so just little things make me panic. So you can imagine just how much I beat myself up about the big things!

What I’m trying to say is, I don’t want others to feel alone too. There is no worse feeling than feeling like you are alone. And that feeling just makes everything seem even worse.

So if you’re feeling like this or just want someone to talk to, I’m here. Sometimes it’s easier to open up to someone you’re not close too.

But also remember that your family and friends are also there for you as well. You don’t have to suffer through anything alone.

This wasn’t originally what I was going to write, but it stands.

No matter how bad you think things are, it could always be worse. I can promise you that.



5 thoughts on “Inspiration.

  1. Well you can think of this; crying is a form of release. I take hikes. Don’t think of anything but watching the wind move the trees and hear the birds singing. Find an outlet. Be yourself, you expend less energy. And if something worries you, attack it. If you can’t attack it, then pass it by.

  2. Anxiety and feeling alone are the worst. I struggle on the daily. I am a private music teacher and I always struggle with feelings of being a horrible teacher… I probably am not the greatest teacher everyday but, I strive for such perfection I make it impossible for myself to succeed. HA so, I can feel where you are coming from in a general sense. Chin up! We all struggle!

  3. I hear you, I started the year in a bout of depression and it’s a constant battle to keep the warning signs under control so I don’t slip back as I’ve had highs and set backs in my life since.

    I found cognitive behaviour therapy helped to retrain my thought processes and help me control my emotions but it can be hard work at times.

    I too am a worrier and spend way too much time playing situations out in my head and wishing I’d said or done things differently but I’m now working on closing those thoughts out.

    There is always something that wants to nag away at you if you let it, some pesky little thought rattling around trying to grab your attention.

    Its good that you reach out to others and share. I blogged a lot about it when I was ill to show people they aren’t alone, a lot of people end up in dark places from time to time. We need to remember that there is always someone who will listen and lots of different forms of help out there all you need is the courage to ask for it.

    Good luck and stay positive! 🙂

  4. A brilliant early passage from Nietzsche–not often considered a comforting figure–resonates with me and might inspire you:

    –Whoever guesses something of the consequences of any deep suspicion, something of the chills and fears stemming from isolation, to which every man burdened with an unconditional difference of viewpoint is condemned, this person will understand how often I tried to take shelter somewhere, to recover from myself, as if to forget myself entirely for a time…What I always needed most to cure and restore myself, however, was the belief that I was not the only one to be thus, to see thus—

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